Finding Him by Matthew O'Callaghan

Finding Him is about figuring things out along the way. Each track is completely improvised, the most “figure it out as you go” way of creating music. On a rainy day this past summer, I placed my phone near an open window in my parents living room to capture the sound of the birds and the low hum of the rain while I messed around on the piano. As weeks went on I found myself repeating this process 2 to 3 times a day, each time exploring new harmonic and rhythmic landscapes.

As I started piecing this album together some of the recordings felt stagnant, like they needed some more time to develop. I put them onto the computer to see if I could find anything special. This is how Listening to Birds, What Goes On, and Maybe all came to be, they just needed more time on the burner to feel complete.

Finding Him represents the past year of my life, where I’ve experienced the most change I ever have. Along with so much change comes even more confusion, about where you’re going, what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. We are constantly trying to find ourselves and make sense of our lives, it’s a never ending journey we’re all on. I wanted to share this album to remind you that, despite how lost you can feel, you can always find yourself.

I also found myself writing a lot more poetry over the past few months and I have 3 poems in particular that really helped me build the album, you can find them below.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my music!


Maybe one day I’ll be free
Of all this nonsense
That pours out my ears
And onto my hands

And maybe their eyes
Will look at my face,
Silently understanding
What goes on behind it

And maybe no one will know
How I’ve lived,
Or how I’ll die
Or if knowing mattered at all

And maybe I’ll be free,
And maybe I’ll look,
And maybe I’ll know,
And maybe it’ll matter

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Or maybe
I'll start a feedback loop
Going over and over
Back and forth
With myself

Until I finally find him
Over a bottle of wine
Waiting to spill

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Sunday

How gorgeous
How sweet a day

Always coming
Always going

Never holding us for too long
Or nearly long enough

How I wish such a day
Could remain just a little longer

How I wish it would forget its count
And come back inside for one more drink