weight by a sacred deer

It’s not common sense always thinking like this
I make amends with myself
Put no checks on my list
Now I’ve felt alone, and I’ve felt ok
Maybe it’s not a path, I’m hoping it’s just a phase

And I’m back underwater
I haven’t drowned but it keeps feeling harder

I lock that weight to my brain and let it go
It gets hard to not want to grow old
Tilted sideways you still held me close
I am broke, I am scared, at the most

So I live at the end of a black hall in my head
I found my way out just to come back again
Until then I’m humming what Julia sang
She said “we’ll keep getting older, we’ll keep feeling strange”

And I’m back underwater
I haven’t drowned but it keeps feeling harder

I lock that weight to my brain and let it go
It gets hard to not want to grow old
Tilted sideways you still held me close
I am broke, I am scared, at the most
It gets hard to fight the pull

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